While many argue that necessity is the mother of invention, I contest that laziness is the precursor of all genius. There are no idle hands or minds when it comes to the Devils workshop.
For years we've been sweeping dirt under the rug, dumping trash into a neighbor's receptacle, purchasing school essays on-line, buying fast-food, stealing cable, pissing in dark alleys, stealing social security checks from aged neighbors (okay, maybe that last one was just me) and the list goes on and on. These are not criminal or lazy activities as often labeled-these are shortcuts to a better life.
From the time of cavemen, foreplay was little more than the raising of a fist and took substantially less than twenty minutes. Over time, women discovered ways of delaying gratification by offering similar means toward the same end. One has to wonder now whether the hand came before the vagina? My understanding is that Eve used to pose that same question to Adam as some good natured ribbing.
But in this day and age we see things like breaking into an opponent's campaign headquarters, fudging the numbers on electoral ballots, trading drugs for guns then guns for hostages, manipulating numbers in banking transactions so it creates a win-win for the winners. All pure genius for the winners-and don't we all imagine ourselves as winners?
In all honesty, would you take those same shortcuts if you could get away with it? Most of us just aren't smart enough. And in the boardrooms around the world they echo that same sentiment, "most people couldn't find their ass with a piece of toilet paper." Pure genius at work.
Semantics is one of the most effective tools available to the lazy and one of the least used by hardworking people. Firstly, to be labeled 'hardworking' is no feather in your cap unless you are incorrigibly lazy. Semantics. To lift a finger for anything that does not further one's station in life is definitely a sign of average or below intelligence. A MENSA candidate you are not. To convince others that you are too busy to be bothered is the Holy Grail of genius. Though you have accomplished nothing, they will beg for your time.
A sure sign of a hardworking idiot-anyone who offers free advice. Free advice is worth every penny you paid for it and will likely, if heeded, cost you more than you ever imagined in the long run. No lazy genius has the time or the energy to ponder the aspects of any job beyond his own purveyance let alone figure out the wit and wisdom it would take for you to be a happier person. By the way, this is not free advice, it was either entertain myself with some legitimate sarcasm or do my laundry. I ran the idea past my editor. She said run with it as she dumped in my second load.
Though I grow bored with this diversion (my genius is begging me to stop) I must add a single observance: trees are some of the oldest living things on this planet and for the life of me I've never seen one move to any benefit. Does it get smarter or lazier than that?
No comments:
Post a Comment